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OH ME, OH MÃE

I Am Not A Morning Person (6th January 2020)

  #IAmNotAMorningPersonAndMotherhoodIsTryingDesperatelyToTurnMeIntoOne #BKeepsWakingUpALotAtNightAtTheMoment #IThinkItIsBecauseOfTeethingButWeTryToSettleHerForAbout30MinutesBeforeWeResortToFeedingHer #EveryMorningITellMyselfThatTonightIAmGoingToBedEarlier #AndEveryNightIFindThatIAmReadingABookUntil11pmAndITellMyselfThatIAmGoingToRegretItInTheMorning #YesterdayIGotACallFromThePostNatalSupportServiceThatMyHealthVisitorReferredMeTo #MyHealthVisitorWasMeantToComeAndCheckOnMeTheOtherDayButSheCalledToSayThatAsWeHadBecomeTier4ItWasNotAGoodIdea #IHadNotEvenHeardTheNewsYetThatWeWereTier4 #WellNowEnglandHasAnotherLockdownAgain #IDoubtWeWillHaveABabyClassInPersonAnytimeSoonButIThinkItIsForTheBest #HopefullyByTheTimeTheyReturnToNormalMyNanWillHaveHadAVaccine #TheVirusHasGotABitCloseToHomeLatelySoIHopeSheDoesGetItSoon #AnywaysTheCallYesterdayWasAnAssessmentToSeeIfTheyThoughtThatTheirServiceCouldHelpMe #IHadToFillInAMoodQuestionnaireAndWeRanThroughMyAnswers #ITalkedAboutFeelingGuiltyAndWorryingThatIWasNotGoodEnoughForB #TheWomanSaidThatWhenWeGiveBirthToThePlacentaItCanBeLikeGivingBirthToABallOfGuilt #SomePeopleMightDisagreeButThatHasStuckOutInMyMindFromTheCallAsItSeemsSomewhatTrueToMe #SheSaidINeedToStopBeingSoHardOnMyselfAndToStopOverthinkingSoMuch #SheSaidIShouldKeepAMoodDiaryAndAlsoTryToWriteDownTwoPositiveThingsADay #IAlsoNeedToBreatheMoreAndTurnAwayNegativeThoughtsLikeUnwantedVisitorsToOurHouse #SomeoneWillCallToCheckOnMeEveryTwoWeeksAndIAmNowAlsoPartOfAWhatsappGroup #IAmInterestedToSeeHowTheGroupGoesAsIFeelAwkwardEnoughAfterOneToOneChats #WithGroupsICanGetVeryEnthusiasticAndThenJustFeelRubbishAboutMyselfWhenPeopleDoNotRespondWell #IHaveNeverPartOfSuchALargeGroupThoughSoIThinkIWillJustSitOnTheSidelinesForNow #IObviouslyHaveALotOfSelfConfidenceAndSelfEsteemIssuesThatINeedToWorkOn #EvenAfter10PlusYearsOfMakingTherapeuticSelfPortraitureWorkToDoWithItAll #HavingASmallHumanHasJustPutANewLightOnALotOfThingsThatIWantToFixAboutMyself #FromTheCallIFeelLikeIAmDoingALotOfThingsRightButIJustNeedToPracticeSomeMoreSelfCareAndSelfLove #ISaidThatIWasGoingOutForTwoWalksADayButLastNightIRealisedThatWeAreNowUnderALockdownLikeTheFirstOne #ThisMeansWeAreOnlyAllowedOneWalkADayButIAmSomewhatRelievedAsICanNotBeBotheredToGoOutForTwoWalksAtTheMoment

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Failing At Trying To Imitate B Rolling Over, But Having A Good Workout (9th January 2021)

#WellNanEndedUpGettingAVaccineTheDayAfterMyLastEntry #SheGotACallInTheMorningAndSheWentToGetItACoupleOfHoursLater #ThatIsAReliefAsBeforeTheLockdownSheWasGoingOutToShopsALotAsSheWasSoBored #IWasWorriedThatIfSheCaughtCovidWeWouldGetBlamed #MostOfOurBabyClassesHaveBeenPostponedThoughOneHasMovedOnline #TheyHaveClassesEveryWeekDayAndWeCanGoToAsManyAsWeWant #IThinkIWillTryToAttendOneEverydayAsThereIsNotMuchElseToDoAndBHadAReallyGoodNapAfterOneYesterday #IDidNotLikeOnlineClassesMuchBeforeButIThinkNowThatBHasAnEstablishedRoutineItIsMuchBetter #AlsoItMightBeABetterWayToGetToKnowSomeLocalMumsAsMaybeByTheTimeWeGoBackToRealLifeClassWeMightRecogniseMorePeople #IKnowThatBIsDueToDropAnotherNapSoonButAtLeastThenSheShouldKeepASimilarRoutineUntilAround14Months #BHasSuddenlyRememberedHowToRollOverAndJustDoesItAllTheTimeNow #SomeFriendsWereTalkingAboutHowTheirBabiesAreRollingOverInTheirCotsAndSleepingOnTheirFronts #ISaidThatBDidNotKnowHowToRollOverInHerCotButTheSameDaySheStartedToDoIt #ThoughSheGenerallyScreamsAfterSheDoesItSoIHaveToPutHerBackOnHerBack #ButThenSheKeepsDoingIt #IAmLikeIfYouDoNotLikeItSoMuchThenWhyDoYouKeepDoingIt #TheOtherNightSheDidNotGoToSleepInHerCotForAnHourAsSheKeptRollingOver #IReadThatTheyJustWantToPracticeTheirNewSkillsSoYesterdayIMadeHerRollOverLots #SheTookAboutHalfAnHourToSettleInsteadSoHopefullyTonightItWillBeQuicker #ITryToPutHerDownOnTheLeftSideOfTheCotAsSheTendsToRollToHerLeft #WeJustNeedToGetHerToLearnHowToRollBackNow #IForgotToMentionThatBTriedFishForTheFirstTimeLastWeek #SheSeemedToLikeItThoughIDoNotLikeHavingToFeedItToHer #IUsuallyCheckTheTemperatureOfHerFoodALotAndIDoNotWantToCheckItIfThereIsFishInIt #IAmStillWorryingAboutHerDietButYesterdayIWentToGiveHerAFoodPouchAndRealisedTheyAreFullOfTheSameThingsThatIAmGivingHerAnyways #SoonSheWillBe7MonthsSoINeedToStartLookingAtDifferentRecipes #MyNanKeepsSayingIShouldGiveBIceCreamSoIDoNotKnowWhyIWorrySoMuch #AsFromWhatSheSaysItSeemsLikeBabiesInThePastWereJustGivenWhateverAndTurnedOutOkay #SheAlsoSaidToPutAPillowInBsCotToStopHerTurningOver #YouAreNotSupposedToPutAnythingInBabiesCotsBesidesBedSheetsUntilTheyAre12Months

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Portrait Of A Mother Of A 7 Month Old (13th January 2021)

  #ICanNotBelieveThatBIs7MonthsAlready #ButWhatIsWeirderIsThatSheWasNotEvenBornYetWhenThePandemicStarted #SinceMyLastEntryBHasSleptBellyDownAFewTimesNow #WeShouldProbablyGetABabyMonitorButEveryTimeILookAtThemIFeelABitOverwhelmedByHowManyThereAre #WeJustSeemToHaveGotByWithoutOneSoFarSoMaybeWeDoNotReallyNeedOne #IDoNotThinkThatIHaveMentionedThatBsHairSeemsToBeGrowingALotMoreSinceSheHasStartedToEatSolids #ISwearThatSheChangesSoMuchFromDayToDay #SheSeemsToHaveDiscoveredBlowingRaspberriesAgainAndWasDoingItAt3InTheMorning #MyLastShootLeftMeFeelingABitSoreAsItWasQuiteAWorkout #IHaveBeenReadingTinaTurnersBookAboutChangingYourLifeForGood #ItIsAnInterestingReadAndIAlreadyFeelMorePositiveAboutThings #IKnowThatICanNotChangeEverythingThatHappensToMeButICanChangeHowIReactToThings #IFeelMorePositiveButShortTermChangesAreEasyWhereasTheHarderThingIsImplementingChangesForALongPeriodOfTime #AtTheWeekendIGotReallyAnnoyedOnAWalkAsIRealisedThatNoOneReallyKeepsTheirDistanceAnymore #WeWalkInSingleFileButThenThePeopleWeAreGoingPastJustWalkSideBySide #NowIHaveStartedToWalkOnTheGrassAwayFromPeopleMore #ItAnnoysMeThatIHaveToDoItButIWouldRatherDoThatThenGetAnnoyedWhenTheyWalkTooClose #YesterdayIWasOutWithBAndWeWereComingToAPointWhereTwoPathsConnect #SomeoneWasWalkingOnTheOtherPathSoIThoughtIHadBetterHurryUpToGetOntoTheMainPathBeforeThem #ICouldHearThemWalkingSoCloseToMeAndIWasGettingAnnoyed #IStoppedAtAPointWhereTheyCouldWalkPastMeAndWhenITurnedToGlareAtThemNoOneWasThere #ILookedDownAndIHadALeafStuckToMyBootThatWasMakingTheNoise #IHaveNotBeenReadingTheNewsSoMuchAndNoOneKnowsWhenThisLockdownWillEnd #TheDaysAreLongYetShortAtTheSameTimeButIHavePlentyToDoToKeepMeBusy #IFeelBadWhenISitAndDoNothingThoughNowIHaveSomePaidResearchWorkToDoSoIWillHaveLessTimeToFaffAnyways #INeedToGetBetterAtRelaxingAndLearnToBeAbleToReadABookAnywhere #AtTheMomentIOnlyLikeToReadInBedButLastNightILostAboutAnHourOfGoodReadingTimeByJustFaffingOnMyPhoneElsewhere #IFedBFishYesterdayAndItSmelledHorribleSoIThinkIWillLeaveFishyMealsToTiago #IAlsoNeedToStopFeelingGuiltyAboutBSpendingTimeWithMyNanAndMum #TheyAreHappyToHelpAndIAmSureALotOfPeopleWouldLoveTheExtraSupportSoINeedToJustAppreciateWhatIHaveAndNotFeelBadAboutIt

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We Have Finally Started To Sleep Train B (17th January 2021)

  #YesterdayWeFinallyDecidedThatWeShouldStartSleepTrainingB #IHaveWantedToDoItForAWhileButIHaveBeenReallyTiredLatelyAndWeAllNeedOurSleep #IWasAlsoHesitantToGiveUpMyOfficeSlashStudioAsBHasToSleepInThereInsteadOfOurRoomForTheDurationOfIt #WeGotUpAtEightThirtyYesterdayMorningAfterBHadBeenFedAt5 #WeHaveBeenJustFeedingHerToGetHerToGoBackToSleepLately #IDoNotLikeDoingThatButWithHerSleepingInOurRoomAndTiagoWorkingDuringTheDayWeDoNotLikeToLetHerCryForLong #SoSheWentDownToSleepPrettyEasyAndWeGaveHerHerDummyButSaidWeWereNotGoingToKeepGivingItBackToHer #ThenSheWokeUpAtTwoThirtyAndSheSeemedOkay #AndThenSheDidNotSleepForThreeHours #ITookThisPhotoAtAboutThreeThirty #AfterAWhileWeThoughtWeShouldCheckHerNappyAndItDidNeedToBeChanged #AndThenSheStillDidNotSleep #InTheEndWeTurnedOnTheHeatingInHerRoomAndSheFellAsleep #WeFeltReallyBadAsThatRoomIsColdAndThatIsAnotherReasonWhyWeHaveDelayedMovingHerOutOfOurRoom #TiagoSaidIShouldGoBackToSleepButICouldNotSleepUntilSheFellAsleep #ThisMorningWeGotUpJustBefore8AsWeWereAllSoTired #SoonHopefullyWeWillAllBeGettingUpAt7FeelingGreat #WeHaveStartedToGiveHerMoreMilkBeforeSheGoesToBedInHopeThatWeCanDropTheDreamfeed #TiagoTriedToDoADreamfeedLastNightButBBarelyDrankAnySoSheDidGoALongTimeWithoutBeingFed #SheEatsFairlyWellDuringTheDayButMaybeNowSheWillEatMoreIfSheReallyIsHungry #InMyLastEntryISaidThatBHadStoppedScreamingOnHerFrontInHerCot #WellSheHasStartedToDoThatAgain #ButThenAgainTheOtherNightSheWasScreamingALotAndIPickedHerUpToSootheHerAndSheBurped #SoThatWasALessonInRememberingToWindBEvenAfterMealsWhereSheHasJustHadWater #IAmStillFeelingStressedOutByBsMealsEvenThoughIKnowSheIsGettingAGoodBalancedDiet #TiagoWentToTheSupermarketLastNightSoHopefullyICanTryToMakeSomeNewDishesForHer #HopefullyWeArePastTheWorstNightOfTheSleepTraining #WeAreGoingToTryToNotGiveBHerDummyNowAsSheJustConstantlyDropsItInHerCotAndSheIsNotToCleverAtPuttingItBackInHerself #WeUsuallyCoverUpHerHandsButLastNightIDidNotInHopeThatSheMightComfortHerself #ButThisMorningHerHandsWereFreezingAndIJustNeedToMakeSureThatHerNailsAreFiledWellAsSheEasilyScratchesHerself

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My Temporary Desk Situation And B Who Was Supposed To Be Having A Long First Nap (22nd January 2021)

  #SoLastNightWasNight6OfSleepTraining #TheFirstNightWasDefinitelyTheWorstAndIThinkThatWasJustBecauseSheWasCold #TheSecondNightIPutTheHeaterOnATimerButNowWeHaveASmartPlugSoICanControlItFromMyPhone #WeHaveGenerallyBeenSleepingForAround7HoursANightAtOneTime #IWishWeHadDoneThisSooner #SheWillDefinitelyNotBeComingBackToSleepInOurRoomAfterTheTwoWeeksIsOver #AsAConsequenceIHaveLostMyOfficeSlashStudioRoom #WePlannedToMoveTheDeskBackToOurRoomButWeHaveNotHadTimeYet #ItNeedsToBeTakenApartAndPutBackTogetherAgainAsTheDoorwaysAreTooNarrow #IfBIsAwakeThenICanStillUseTheRoomForSomePhotosAndForMyDanceVideos #ButOtherwiseINeedToBeMoreCreativeAsThereAreNoOtherFreeBlankWallsInTheHouse #PerhapsMyWorkIsTooMuchAboutPlainBlankWallsAnyways #AnywaysWeAlsoDroppedBDownToATwoNapSchedule #AfterSleepTrainingStartedWeHadTroubleGettingHerDownForAThirdNapSoWeKnewItWasTimeToDropIt #TheThirdNapWasGettingABitAnnoyingAndIHadBeenShorteningItTo20MinutesSoItWillNotBeMissed #IWasJustABitStressedAboutFiguringOutARoughScheduleForHerDay #ButTheFirstDayWentWellSoIWillStickToThatButJustReadjustingForHerWakeupTimes #SheIsSupposedToStayInHerCotForBetween11And12HoursAtNightSoWeUsuallyGetHerUpBetween6And7Now #YesterdayWeCouldNotBeBotheredToGetHerUpAt6SoWeGotHerUpALotLaterThanWeShouldHave #SoWeHadAnOvertiredBabyToDealWithAtNaptimeButItWasNotTooBad #TodayWeGotHerUpAt10Past6ButIStillHadAVeryOvertiredBabyToDealWithWhoTookAWhileToGoToSleep #SheUsedToHave2HoursBeforeHerFirstNapButItIsMoreLike3Now #HopefullySheWillGetUsedToItSoon #YouAreNotSupposedToStartSleepTrainingForNapsUntilTheyAre10MonthsOldAsForNapsTheyUseADifferentPartOfTheBrain #HerMealTimesHaveShiftedAndIAmSurprisedThatSheEatsHerPorridgeSoMuchEarlierInTheMorning #ItIsNiceThoughAsNowWeAllHaveLunchAroundTheSameTimeInsteadOfUsEatingLunchDuringHerNap #TheAnnoyingThingIsBUsuallyNapsForMostOfTheTimeThatMyMumVisitsButOhWell #IUsuallyHaveAGoodBitOfTimeToDoWorkDuringHerFirstNapAtLeast #AndThenHerBedtimeIs7SoIDoSomeWorkAndThenTryToReadABitBeforeGoingToBedAround10 #MyMoodHasBeenBetterAndLookingBackAtMyMoodDiaryMyWorstDaysWereWhenIWasTired  

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B Likes To Hold On To My Finger When She Eats (26th January 2021)

  #BIsStillSleepingWellThoughSomeMorningsSheDoesWakeUpAround5 #YesterdaySheWokeUpAtFourThirtyButWentBackToSleepUntil7 #TodaySheWokeUpAt5AndWasQuietForABitButThenStartedToMakeNoise #WeDoNotGetHerUpUntilSheHasBeenInHerCotForAtLeast11HoursThough #HerHeaterBrokeThreeNightsAgoSoWeOrderedANewOne #ThoughDueToSnowTiagoOnlyManagedToPickItUpYesterdaySoSheHadToMakeDoWithANotSoGreatOne #WeAlsoFinallyGotABabyMonitorWhichSeemsABitLateAsSheIsEdgingTowards8MonthsOld #InLiverpoolWeLivedInAFlatWhereSheWasNeverThatFarAwayAndWeCouldAlwaysHearHer #AtMyNansIfIAmDownstairsIAlwaysHaveToGoToTheBottomOfTheStairsToSeeIfICanHearHerSoThisWillMakeThingsMuchEasier #IAmLessStressedAboutHerEatingNowThatWeDoNotFeedHerInTheNightAndSheEatsBetterDuringTheDay #SheTendsToNotEatMuchAtLunchSometimesButIThinkThatIsNormalAsSheAlwaysEatsHerPorridgeAtBreakfastWhichMustBeQuiteFilling #INeedToRememberToTalkToBMoreAtMealsAsIFeelLikeIAmJustDaydreamingOrDoNotKnowWhatToSayToHer #ITendToPutMusicOnSoAtLeastISingButHerMealtimesAreAlsoGettingShorterWhichIsGreat #IAmFeelingLessGuiltyAboutPassingHerToMyNanForABit #TheyWatchTelevisionTogetherAndMyNanIsReallyGoodAtTalkingToHerAboutWhatIsOnScreen #IDoWorryThatSheHasTooMuchScreenTimeAlreadyButSomeDaysSheBarelyHasAny #ThisLockdownIAmGettingMoreIntoOnlineBabyClasses #LastWeekWeDidOneEveryWeekdayAsItIsNiceForHerToSeeOtherBabies #IDoWorryThatSheIsMissingOutABitByNotGoingToClassesInRealLifeButWhatAreWeToDo #IAmReallyNotGoodWithTheLocalWhatsappGroupsThatIAmIn #OneIsAGroupOfLocalMumsWhoHaveTwoOnlineCallsAWeekButTheyNowBothFallDuringBsNaptimes #IFeelWeirdAttendingThemWithoutABabyAndWhenBIsAsleepItIsMyTimeToGetThingsDone #TheOtherNightIHadADreamThatWeWereGoingToPortugalOnHolidayTheNextDayAndIWasSadWhenIWokeUpAndRealisedItWasJustADream #IAlsoDreamtThatBSuddenlyGrewAllHerTeethAndItWasStrange #ICanNotReallyImagineHerWithTeeth #TiagoGetsHisVaccineTodayBecauseOfHisWork #HeWasOfferedOneAFewWeeksAgoButHisCarWasPlayingUpAndItWasFarAway #IGuessIWillNotBeGettingOneForAVeryLongTimeAndIGuessBWillBeWaitingLongerIfSheIsEvenAllowedToHaveIt #WhenTheGovernmentAnnouncedTheNewLockdownIKnewThereWasNoPointThinkingAboutWhenIsItGoingToBeOver #IAmJustTryingToTakeThingsOneDayAtATimeButTheOtherDayIDidGetABitAnnoyedByItAllAsThereAreSoManyPeopleThatBHasNotMetYetButWhatCanWeDo

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Trying To Imitate How B Looks After She Has Slept On Her Hands (31st January 2021)

  #BHasSuddenlyGotMoreMobile #YesterdaySheStartedToRollOntoHerFrontThenBackOntoHerBack #SheHasDoneItABitBeforeButMoreOnAccident #NowSheKnowsWhatSheIsDoingAndUsesItToGetAroundMore #SheWasAlsoCrawlingBackwardsABit #YouCanSeeThatSheKnowsWhatSheNeedsToDoToCrawlForward #ButItIsProbablyTheCarpetThatIsStoppingHerSomewhatRightNow #IDoNotThinkItWillBeLongBeforeSheIsCrawling #GoodbyeToTheDaysWhereYouCanPutHerDownAndLeaveTheRoomFor5SecondsToGetSomethingAndExpectToFindHerInTheSameArea #WeAreStartingToBabyproofTheLivingRoomWithTowels #ThisMorningSheWasAlsoBlowingALotOfRaspberries #ItIsFunnySeeingHerOnTheBabyMonitorNow #IAmGladWeDidNotHaveOneBeforeAsYouCanQuiteObsessedWatchingItAndSeeingEveryMovement #ItIsCuteSeeingBFallAsleepOnHerSideAsIfSheWasTooTiredToEvenRollOntoHerFrontToSleep #ButWhenSheDoesSleepOnHerFrontSheAlwaysSleepsOnHerHandsAndHasBigMarksWhereHerFingersWere #SheHasNotLearnedTheArtOfTurningHerHeadToTheSideToSleepOnHerFrontYet #IWillTryToRecreateTheFingerMarksOnMyHeadForThePhotoButLetsSeeHowLongIHaveToLieOnMyFrontFor #SheSeemsToPreferSleepingOnHerFrontForNapsAndThenOnHerBackForNight #ThoughTheOtherNightSheWasOnHerFrontAtNightAndIThoughtOhEventuallyWeWillHaveToGoInToTurnHerOverWhenSheScreams #ButAtSomePointSheObviouslyRolledOntoHerBackAndItWasFine #IAmStartingToFeelALittleDrainedAgain #IHaveNotMadeMuchOfAnEffortToTalkToLocalPeopleLately #ThoughTypicallyIFeelLikeThisAndThenPeopleStartToTalkToUsAtThePlaygroundMore #IGuessIFeelLikeIHaveEnoughPeopleToTalkToThatICanNotSeeDueToCovid #IAlsoHaveLessFreeTimeTheseDaysAndIDoNotFeelTheNeedToMakeLocalFriendsAsMuch #ThoughThisWillProbablyChangeSoonWhenTheWeatherGetsBetterAndWeCanHopefullySpendMoreTimeOutdoors #WeDoBabyClassesOnZoomWhereAtLeastBGetsToSeeSomeOtherBabies #EspeciallyAsThereIsAlwaysABitWhereWeDanceTheBabiesUpToOurCamerasWhichIsRidiculouslyCute #IFeelLikeIAmGettingQuiteObsessedWithBsScheduleAgainAndIAmQuiteUsedToOurDailyLife #IGuessInNonPandemicTimesIWouldHaveGotUsedToAlteringItForThingsLikeClassesAndPlaydatesButIFeelLikeICanNotReallySwayAwayFromThingsRightNow

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It Has Been A Weird Couple Of Weeks (3rd February 2021)

  #ItHasBeenAWeirdCoupleOfWeeks #IDidNotKnowIfIWouldTalkAboutItHereButIDecidedIShouldAsThisProjectIsTryingToBeAsHonestAsPossible #BasicallyOverTwoWeeksAgoIWasWakingUpInTheMorningFeelingSick #AfterThreeOrSoDaysOfItIDecidedToDoAPregnancyTestWhichWasPositive #SoIStartedToMakeANewPregnancyProjectAndIThoughtIWasManagingMyMorningSicknessWell #AfterAboutAWeekAndAHalfIWasGettingQuiteBadCrampsAndSomeBleeding #SoICalledUpTheDoctorsAndTheyCalledMeInToExamineMyTummy #AndTheyDid3PregnancyTestsWhichWereAllNegative #ThingsGotABitWorseAndTheyMadeMeDoAPregnancyBloodTestWhichAlsoCameBackNegative #ItWasAndIsABitOfAConfusingSituationAsWasIEverActuallyPregnantOrNotIsHardToSay #ISpentSomeTimeThinkingIWasAndMadeWorkAboutItAndTheDoctorsVisitsAndWaitingForResultsEtc #IAmNotSureIfIWillEverShowItOrShareItButItFeelsSomewhatImportantToSayThatItExists #InMyLastEntryITalkedAboutNotBeingThatBotheredAboutMeetingPeople #ThoughInTheLastWeekIHaveHad3DifferentPeopleTalkToMeAtThePlaygroundWhenBeforeNoOneReallySpokeToMe #OneWomanAskedIfIWasPlanningOnHavingAnymoreKidsAndAtThatPointIDidNotKnowWhatWasHappeningToMyBodyAndJustSaidYeahIHopeSo #SheSaidSheHadTwoKidsWithAnEightYearGapAndTheyHadGivenUpOnHavingAnotherOneWhenSheGotPregnantWithHerYoungest #WeWouldLikeTwoKidsButIWouldNotLikeAn8YearGapButIGuessWeHaveToSeeWhatHappens #ItAlsoFeelsAwkwardTalkingAboutThisAsBeingPregnantWithBIWorriedThatIWouldLoseOutOnOpportunitiesByBeingPregnant #NowThatIAmSayingWeWouldLikeAnotherKidOutLoudItFeelsLikeAgainIMightBeDismissedSomewhatForIt #WeStartedSleepTrainingBAsIDidNotWantToBePregnantAndBeingWokenUpAllNight #LastNightWePutHerToBedAt7AndIHadToWakeHerUpAt7WhichIsVeryRare #EvenThoughWeSleptWellICouldHaveSleptForAnother10Hours #ButYeahIWouldLikeToMeetSomeLocalPeopleButIAmNoGoodInGroupConversationsOnZoom #ThereIsALocalWalkNextWeekForParentsWhichIsNiceAsTheyHaveBeenCancelledForAWhile #IWasAlsoTryingToProtectMyselfAsIThoughtIWasPregnantAndShouldStayAwayFromPeopleForABit #IAmEnjoyingBsZoomClassesButSheJustSeemsToTryAndEatEverything #WhenItsTimeForKitchenInstrumentsSheJustEatsTheSpatulaAndIfITakeThatAwaySheTriesToEatThePan #LastNightWeWereLyingOnTheFloorAndIWasReadingHerBooksAndSheLookedOverAtMeInASuperCuteWay #SoILeanedTowardsHerAndThenSheJustStartedToStickHerFingersInMyEyesAndUpMyNose #SheDoesNotKnowWhatSheIsDoingSoIAmGoingToTakeThatAsASignOfHerAffection

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Sixth Family Portrait (6th February 2021)

#BHasStartedToSquealAndScreechALotInTheLastWeek #ICallHerMyScreecherCreature #NanMadeMeLaughTheOtherDayWhenSheAskedBIfSheWasAnOperaSinger #SheAlsoKeptSayingHowCleverIWasAfterIOpenedAJarOfMarmalade #BNowAlsoLikesToJustEatTheLabelsOnAnything #SheWillBeSatInHerHighchairWithFoodInFrontOfHerAndSheJustWantsToEatTheLabelOnHerBib #IAmWorriedThatBsFirstWordWillBeSkipDueToMeAlwaysSkippingSongsWhileSheEats #SometimesINearlyCallHerAlexa #IWasWorriedThatSheWouldThinkThatWasHerNameButIfISayAlexaSheLooksInTheDirectionOfTheMachine #NowWhenSheDropsHerCupFromHerHighchairSheClosesHerEyesAndAnticipatesTheSoundOfItHittingTheFloor #SheHasHadSomeReallyDryPatchesOnHerBodyForAWhileAndItIsStartingToUpsetMeABit #WeApplyCreamALotButWeJustNeedToApplyItMore #IHaveOrderedSomeOtherStuffThatAFriendRecommendedSoHopefullyItComesSoon #SheHasADryPatchDevelopingOnHerFaceNowWhichMakesMeFeelWorse #IUsedToGetReallyDrySkinWhenIWasYoungerThough #IRememberHavingAReallyDryPatchRightByMyEyeForAbout6MonthsOrSoWhichMadeMeFeelWonderfulInHighSchool #AnywaysAfterMyLastEntryISpokeToTheWomanWhoChecksOnMeEveryCoupleOfWeeks #SheSaysIAmDoingEverythingPossibleButIJustNeedToBeMorePositiveAndKickNegativeThoughtsAway #SheAskedHowTiagoIsAndIFeltBadAsIHadNotReallyThoughtAboutHowRecentEventsMightMakeHimFeel #WeHadTalkedAboutItABitButIWasTooObsessedWithWhatOrWasNotHappeningToMyBodyAndHowIWasFeelingSoIMadeSureWeSpokeAboutItLater #BIsGettingVeryQuickAtRemovingTiagosGlassesFromHisFace #IJustRealisedThatHeUsuallyTakesThemOffForTheFamilyPortraitsSoSomePeopleMightNotBeAwareThatHeWearsThem #WeProbablyStayedUpTooLateLastNight #BWokeUpAtFiveThirtyButLuckilySheWentBackToSleepAfterAWhileAndThenTiagoGotHerUpAt7 #TheNightBeforeIWantedToGoToBedEarlyAsIWantedAGoodNapBeforeWakingUpForATalkAtMidnight #ObviouslyIBarelyNappedAndThenICouldNotSleepForTwoHoursAfterTheTalkAsIFeltSoInspired #IFeelSoGuiltyForMakingWorkAboutMyselfButThenIRealiseThatALotOfOtherPeopleAreDoingIt #INeedToStopFeelingSoGuiltyAboutSoManyThingsAndJustCareLess #IWantToGetMoreIntoPoetryAndOrCreativeWritingButIDoNotReallyKnowWhereToStart #LastNightISuddenlyFeltInspiredToTryToWriteAPoemButItJustSeemedToTurnIntoMyHashtagWriting

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Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Pan/Drum During Online Baby Classes (10th February 2021)

  #AYearAgoTiagoAndIWereInOsloForAFewDaysAfterMyVeryFirstSoloShowHadOpened #ItFeltLikeACelebrationOfMyPreBabyLifeInAWay #IWas20ishWeeksPregnantAndFeelingALittleWorriedAboutCovid #INeverWouldHaveThoughtThatItWouldBeTheYearThatItHas #IMentionMyShowNotToBoastButAsAHappyReminderToMyself #OnceInAWhileIHaveDownPatchesAboutMyWorkAndIAmHavingOneRightNow #TheOtherDayIWasFeelingBurnedOutInGeneral #AndNowIJustFeelABitMopeyAndWhyDoIBotherDoingAllMyWork #IKnowWhyAndItIsBecauseItIsTherapeuticForMe #IAmGladWeMovedAsWeHaveTheExtraSupportAndIThinkIWouldBeSuperMiserableInLiverpoolRightNow #ILovedTheCityButWeJustFeltVeryStuckThereAndIFeltBadNotBeingAbleToSeeMyNan #DuringTheWeekITendToDoTwoBabyClassesWithBInTheDay #OneInTheMorningFromYoutubeAndOneLiveOnZoomSoSheCanSeeOtherBabies #NextWeekItIsHalfTermAndTheLiveClassesAreNotOnSoINeedToStepMyMotheringGameUpABit #IKnowWeAreLuckyAndThatThingsCouldBeALotWorse #ButThisAllDoesSuckQuiteABit #NowIWonderIfWeWillEvenBeAbleToSeeTiagosFamilyThisYear #IImaginedBsEarlyLifeToBeVeryDifferentThoughLuckilySheDoesNotKnowThatSheIsMissingOutOnThings #IThinkIFailToMentionHowSupportiveTiagoIsAsWell #HeDoesALotForUsAndHeLooksAfterMyNanReallyWell #YesterdayBStartedToClapALittleBitWhichWasQuiteCute #IGotHerSomeFarmAnimalPuppetsAfterSeeingHerReactionToThemInHerBabyClasses #IThinkSheIsHappyButIJustWantHerToBeAbleToHangOutWithMorePeopleAndBabiesInRealLife #HopefullyWhenTheWeatherImprovesRulesWillHaveRelaxedABitAndWeCanJustSitOutsideWithMorePeople #HerSkinSeemsALittleBetterAtLeastButIThinkItWillTakeAWhileToReturnToNormal #TalkingAboutMyWorkAgainThoughLastNightIHadADreamThatIWonACompetitionInTimorLeste #IWasCryingOnThePhoneBecauseIFeltLikeINeededTheConfidenceBoostAndDidNotEvenCareAboutHowMuchTheCallWasCostingMe #TheWorkThatIWonWithWasReallyBizarreThoughLikePhotoshoppedSeascapesWithSeaCreaturesAndThings #SoIWasBitGuttedThatItWasNotForMyMotherhoodProjectOrSomethingMoreMeaningfulToMe #IGuessIAmFeelingABitLostAtTheMomentButItWillSoonPass

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Portrait Of A Mother Of An 8 Month Old (13th February 2021)

  #ICanNotBelieveThatBIsTwoThirdsOfAYearOld #AndAlsoThatThisIsMy80thEntryForThisProject #ICanNotSayThatEveryPhotoIHaveTakenForItIsGoodButIAmHappyToHaveARecordOfThingsAnywaysEspeciallyWithAllTheWriting #JustYesterdayTiagoWalkedIntoOurBedroomHoldingBAndIThoughtWhoaIAmTheMotherOfThisSmilingYoungHuman #IRealisedIHadActuallySwitchedOffABitAsIKnewThatTiagoWouldLookAfterHerUntilHerBedtime #UsuallyISpendMostOfTheTimeAwayFromBOnEdgeThatSheMayWakeUpOrThatIAmRunningOutOfTimeToGetStuffDone #IAmJustFeelingQuiteTired #TwoNightsAgoAsSoonAsBWentToBedIJustGotIntoBedAndWatchedTheQueensGambit #IWasExhaustedButIDidAlsoJustWantToWatchIt #LastNightIMadeMyselfDoTheWorkThatINeededToDoFirstBeforeWatchingTheFinalEpisode #IHaveNotReallyWatchedMuchTVLatelyApartFromItsASinAndDragRace #CatchingTheEndOfBargainHuntWhenSortingOutBsLunchIsAlsoADailyHighlight #ThoughIDidMissItYesterdayAndDoQuiteALotOfDaysActually #NoOffenceToBButIAmABitBoredOfFeedingHer #IThinkItIsMoreTheStressOfItThanAnythingElse #OurUsualTrickForIfSheDoesNotSeemToWantToEatAtLunchIsToPutSomeGreekStyleYoghurtWithHerFood #YesterdaySheDidNotWantToEatHerLunchButThenSuddenlySheHadFinishedHerBowlOfScrambledEggTomatoAndToastWithSomeYoghurt #OrAtDinnerWeJustStartToFeedHerHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit #ButThenWeMixSomeOfHerDinnerInWithItTooAndSoSheHasWeirdCombinationsOfFood #WeUsuallyWaitAWhileFirstThoughBeforeDoingThis #HerSkinIsLoadsBetterWhichIsARelief #IThoughtThatRestaurantsWouldBeAllowedToReopenSoonButIJustLookedForTheArticleAgainAndSawItWasOnlyInJersey #IWasNotBotheredAboutItButIThoughtItWouldSoonMeanGoodNewsForBabyGroups #IWasThinkingYesterdayThatIThinkIHaveOnlyChangedBsNappyInPublicTwice #OnceInARestaurantToiletAndOnceAtTheParkJustOnTheGrass #ItIsJustWeirdThinkingThatIHaveAn8MonthOldButHaveOnlyBeenOutFarAndLongEnoughToChangeHerInPublicTwice #IThinkTiagoHasProbablyChangedHerMoreThanMeThoughAsInTheEarlyDaysIFeltTooScaredNervousAndAwkwardTo #WeWereSayingYesterdayThatItSeemsWeirdThatAtOnePointWeWereGoingOutToRestaurantsOnceAWeekish #TiagoSaysThatHeIsReallyEnjoyingHisPlaytimeWithB #EspeciallyNowThatSheShowsALotMoreOfHerPersonalityAndStartsToPlayWithHerToysAndRespondMore

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Where Is Mummy? (16th February 2021)

  #IAlwaysWriteMumButMummyLooksABitWeird #IAmNotADeadPersonInAMuseumThoughIMaySometimesLookLikeIt #LastNightIWentToSleepAtNineThirtyAfterReadingForABit #ThenIWasAwakeBetweenFourAndFiveThirtyishAsBWasMakingNoisesAndICouldNotFallBackAsleep #ThenItWas7AndIDidNotWantToGetOutOfBedAsIFeltSoTired #IHadPlannedToDoSomeCraftsOrWritingOrAnythingLastNightButIJustCouldNotBeBothered #TypicallyISpendAllDayLookingForwardToAGoodAmountOfMeTimeButThenItArrivesAndIAmJustKnackered #IStartedAFundingApplicationTheOtherNightButItJustSeemedSoPointlessAndItWouldHaveBeenVeryRushed #IFeelLikeINeedToPrioritiseMyMeTimeAtTheMomentForThingsThatHaveInstantaneousResultsOrMakeMeMoney #IWantToStartWorkingOnANewProjectButIAmNotSureWhat #ItFeelsEasyToKeepAddingToThisSeriesAndIDoNotHaveToThinkAboutItMuch #AnywaysWeWentOnAGroupWalkWithOtherMumsAndMomsYesterday #TypicallyEveryoneElseKnewEachOtherThoughIDoFeelLikeTheyDidTryToIncludeMe #ButAllOfTheirBabiesAre8WeeksOldAndWereAsleepTheWholeTime #BWasAwakeAndBeingQuitePatientReallyConsideringSheWasJustStuckInHerPushchair #SheCanCrawlForwardALittleNowButThenHasToStopBeforeTryingAgain #ItFeltGoodToBeOutAndAboutInGoodWeatherAndTalkToOtherPeople #ButItWasNotAnyFunForBSoIMightJustTryAndGoOnceInAWhile #MaybeItWouldNotBeSoBadIfThePushchairActuallyFacedMeAsICouldTalkToHerMore #IDoWishWeHadGotOneThatCouldFaceBothWaysButItIsABitLateNow #IAlsoFeltAwkwardMovingAboutWithABunchOfPeopleAsIFeltLikePeopleWereJudgingUsAndGettingAnnoyed #ItIsClassedAsASupportGroupSoWeAreNotBreakingTheLawButIAmAwkwardEnoughJustBeingOutWithB #WeAreDebatingSendingBToNurseryOneDayAWeek #IFeelQuiteTornAboutItAsIAmNotMakingEnoughMoneyAtTheMomentToJustifyItAndIFeelGuiltyThatSheWouldBeInNurseryWhileIAmJustFaffingAboutAtHome #IFeelLikeItLooksLikeIDoNotWantToSpendTimeWithHer #ILoveHerALotButIAmJustTiredAndMaybeSheWouldHaveMoreFunSpendingADayWithOtherKids #ThenICanUseMyFreeTimeToFigureOutWhatIWantToDoWithMyLifeAndProbablySpendALotOfMyTimeMissingBAndFeelingGuilty #ThenWhenWeAreReunitedIWillHopefullyHaveMoreEnthusiasmAfterHavingSomeMoreMeTime #IDoWorryThatIWillJustWasteMyFreeTimeThoughTiagoSaysItIsFineIfIJustSpendTheFirstTimeSleeping #ThinkingAboutItSendingHerToNurseryIncreasesOurRiskOfHavingToSelfIsolateAndThatWouldBeNoFun

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Imitating How B Used To Drink From Her Cup (19th February 2021)

  #BUsedToDrinkFromTheTopOfHerCupUntilIGuessHerArmsWereStrongEnoughToHoldItUpHigherAndDrinkFromTheBottom #ItIsOneOfThoseCupsWhereYouCanDrinkFromAllSidesAndIfTheCupWasFullEnoughThenItWorkedForHer #IAmWritingThisAfterBHasGoneToBedInTheEveningWhichIsUnusualAsIUsuallyWriteInTheMorning #ThisWeekHasBeenAQuietWorkWeekSoIHaveBeenTryingToRestButThingsWillPickUpAgainNextWeek #SoIfIWriteThisNowItMeansIHopefullyWillHaveEnoughToWriteAboutInAFewDaysTimeAndThenICanBalanceThingsWell #IWasGoingToTryAnotherGroupWalkTodayButTheWeatherWasRubbishAndIEndedUpHavingToSortSomeThingsOut #BUsuallyGoesDownForNapsQuiteWellButAfter30MinutesSheWasStillAwake #IThinkSheWasOvertiredSoTheWalkWouldHaveBeenGoodForGettingHerToSleepButOhWell #ThisMorningIWasMakingABatchOfPorridgeForBAndIAccidentallyPutCayennePepperInInsteadOfCinnamon #IManagedToGetSomeOutAndThenNearlyPutMoreInAgain #IUsedToMeasureItOutInASpoonButNowIJustChuckItInAndThenINoticedTheColour #SoINeedToBeMoreCarefulAndPutItInAfterTheButternutSquashHasCookedSoThatICanJustRinseItOffInFuture #ITriedItAndICouldNotTasteItAsItIsAMassiveBatchSoHopefullyItWillBeOkayTomorrow #BIsDefinitelyShowingMorePersonalityLately #ILikeToPlayPeekabooWithHerAroundDoorFramesAndTodaySheWentOohAndThenArghWhenIAppeared #ItMadeHerSeemSoMuchOlderThanSheIsAndSheWouldLaughAfterwardsWhichThenMadeMeLaugh #TiagoWentOutAndISaidToNotScareHerLikeHeDidLastTimeWhenHeOpenedTheDoor #ThisTimeHeMadeBothOfUsJumpThoughHeSaidHeThoughtHeHadOpenedTheDoorGentlyButAtLeastBDidNotCryForAsLongThisTime #ThePlaygroundThatITakeBToHasACapacityLimit #TodayThereWereWayTooManyPeopleInThereSoWeStoodOutsideWaiting #AGroupOfAdultsWereJustStoodInTheMiddleChattingAndIThoughtTheyWouldGetTheHintAfterAWhile #PeopleWouldJustGoStraightPastUsAsPerUsualAndGoToWalkIntoThePlayground #SoIThoughtIWouldActuallyTellPeopleItHadReachedCapacityForOnceAsIfTheyGoInThenItIsEvenMoreSoOverCapacitySoWhyAmIWaiting #TheCoupleOfPeopleThatIToldWereProbablyJustPissedOffWithMeButTheyJustLeftAfterAMinuteToGoElsewhere #ThenAnotherWomanEitherDidNotHearMeOrJustIgnoredMeAndThenThreeOtherKidsRanIn #SoWeDidALapAndThenThereWereEvenMorePeopleInThereSoNoPlaygroundForBToday #MaybeNoOneCaresAndMaybeIJustRuinedKidsPlaytimesTodayButTheSignIsThereForAReasonRight #IWouldHaveSaidSomethingToThePeopleStoodInTheMiddleJustChattingButISeeOneOfTheGuysAroundALotSoIDoNotWantToCauseDrama #SoIWasFeelingGrumpyOnTheWayHomeButThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeSeeAroundALotSoIFeltABitBetter #AndThenAWomanMadeDuckSoundsWhileIShowedBSomeDucksSoThatMadeMeSmileToo

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OH ME, OH MÃE

A Sunday Visit To The Doctors (21st February 2021)

  #BsSkinHasBeenGettingWorse #IDebatedCallingTheDoctorsYesterdayButItSeemedToBeGettingBetter #IWasAlsoABitPutOffAsALocalMumSaidTheirDoctorWouldNotSeeTheirBabyAndHadToldThemToGetSomeOverTheCounterCream #IHadSwitchedFromUsingTheCreamThatTheDoctorPrescribedToADifferentOneWhichSeemedToBeBetter #ButIThoughtIShouldTryTheDoctorsOneAgainYesterdayAndIThinkThatMadeItWorse #LastNightAsIPutHerToBedIRealisedHowHorribleItLookedAndThatIShouldHaveCalledEarlierInTheDay #SheHadAlsoStartedToItchHerSkinWhichSheHadNotDoneBefore #TodayIsSundayButThereWasSomewhereOpenSoICalledAsSoonAsTheyOpened #ADoctorCalledUsBackQuiteQuicklyAndSaidToBringHerInInAFewHours #IWasRelievedThatHeSaidATimeWhereItWouldUsuallyBeHerPlaytime #IHadGotHerUpAt6TodayAsSheWasMakingNoisesAndIThoughtItMightBeThatHerSkinHadDriedOut #DuringTheDayWePutACreamOnAtLeastEvery2HoursButObviouslyAtNightWeCanNotDoThat #SoBHadAnEarlyBreakfastAndSoSheHadLunchALittleEarlierThanUsualButSheAteMoreOfIt #ThenWeWentOffToTheDoctors #IWasReallyWorriedAsHerSkinIsReallyBadOnHerShouldersAndThenFairlyBadInPatchesOnHerChest #IFeltEmbarrassedThatTheyWouldSeriouslyJudgeMeForItWhichToBeFairIDoDeserveAsIShouldNotHaveLetItGetThisBad #AnywaysIHadToCallReceptionToSayWeWereInTheCarParkThenTheDoctorCalledToSayHeWasComingOutToFindUs #WeWentThroughAMazeOfABuildingAndBJustStartedToCryAtHimOnceWeGotInTheRoom #IFeltReallyBadAndHerTearsSoakedTheProtectivePaperThatTheyPutOverTheBed #AfterAWhileSheCalmedDownThoughAndTheDoctorTookOneLookAtHerSkinAndSaidEczema #HeSaidHeWouldGiveUsSomeHydrocortisoneAndSomeOtherLotionToUseInsteadOfTheOneTheOtherDoctorPrescribedAndToKeepUsingTheOneThatWeWereNotPrescribed #TheAppointmentWasQuickButThenHeSpentAgesTryingToFindAPharmacyThatWasOpenForUs #SheHasAlsoHadLittleBumpsLatelyWhichIThinkAreHeatRashSoTonightHerRoomIsCoolerAndWeHaveChangedHerSleepingBag #WeGaveHerABathAndIHadToHoldHerHandsAndSingSongsToHerWhileWeGotHerDressedSoThatSheWouldNotScratchHerSkinOff #HopefullyTodayIsTheWorstDayAndItCanOnlyGetBetterFromHere #IWasWorriedAboutHerHavingASteroidCreamButTheDoctorSaidItIsALowPercentageAndSoItWillNotThinHerSkin #NowIReallyWishIHadJustGotHerSomeOfItSooner #LastNightWeHadADateNightAfterMyMentalHealthPhonePersonSaidWeShould #IHadBeenThinkingThatWeShouldTryToDoSomethingEveryNightButOnceAWeekIsWayMoreFeasible #DateNightBasicallyConsistedOfUsWorryingAboutBsSkinWhileWatching3EpisodesOfTheRanganation

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Imitating B Looking At Her Hand (25th February 2021)

  #BStartedToStareAtHerHandsAboutAWeekAgo #SheHasChangedALotInTheLastFewWeeksAndIGuessSheIsJustALotMoreCuriousAboutThings #OfCourseSheAlwaysWantsToPlayWithThingsThatAreNotToysOrSheManagesToFindTheToysThatIHaveHiddenAway #LikeTheTrainWithBlocksThatIDoNotLikeHerToPlayWithIfIAmKeepingAnEyeOnHerFromTheKitchenWhileISortOutHerFood #ItHasSomeTallColumnsOnItThatIKnowIfSheWouldFellOntoItSheWouldNotBePleased #HerSkinIsSlowlyGettingBetter #ItStillDoesNotLookNiceButItHasDefinitelyImprovedALittleBit #IndoorSwimmingPoolsAreAllowedToReopenFrom12thAprilSoHopefullyByThenItWillHaveCompletelyHealed #WeWillNeedToBuyHerNewSwimmingStuffAsSheHasProbablyAlreadyOutgrownTheStuffThatSheWentSwimmingInOnce #AlsoAroundTheTimeIndoorBabyClassesAreDueToResume #OnThe29thMarchWeWillBeAbleToMeetUpWithMorePeopleOutsideOrInPrivateGardens #SoItIs4AndAHalfWeeksUntilThenAndNearly7UntilIndoorBabyClassesAndSwimming #InSomeWaysItFeelsAlmostHarderHavingThingsToCountdownToButIGuessItWillBeBetterWhenThereAreLessWeeksToGo #HopefullyThingsDoNotGetWorseAgain #TheOtherNightBWasAwakeFrom11To1AndWeJustCouldNotFigureOutWhatWasWrong #ThereIsMeantToBeAn8MonthSleepRegressionAndIThinkSheDoesGetAnnoyedIfSheDoesNotHaveEnoughCrawlingTime #YesterdayIShuffledThingsAboutAndItTookBHalfAnHourToFallAsleepForHerNapBecauseSheProbablyDidNotCrawlEnough #SheHasSleptBetterTheLastTwoNightsThough #IAmWorriedThatTheHouseIsTooHotForHerAndItHasBeenFairlyMildAtNight #LastNightIWokeUpAtFourThirtyAsIWasTooHotAndIThoughtITurnedOffHerHeater #IWentInAtSevenAndItWasStillOnButSheDidNotSeemToMind #IThinkSheLikesTheHeatButIDoNotWantHerSkinToGetWorse #TheOtherDayWeWentToThePlaygroundButBCouldNotGoOnTheBabySwingsAs3AdultsWereJustBlockingThem #OneBabyWasJustAsleepInASwingAndAnotherKidWasSometimesInTheSwingAndSometimesNot #ItWouldHaveBeenReallyAwkwardForUsToUseTheOtherSwingAndThereWasNoOneElseThereSoItMustHaveBeenObviousThatWeWereWaiting #ItJustUpsetsMeAsILikeToThinkIAmConsiderateOfOthersInThePlaygroundButALotOfPeopleDoNotSeemToCare #HoweverWeWentYesterdayAndWhenWeWereLeavingTwoPeopleRushedToOpenTheGateForUsSoThatMadeMeFeelBetterAboutIt #IHaveFinallyBookedToGoToTheDentist #ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeIWentAndMyMaternityExemptionButRunOutSoon #MyTeethAreSoHorribleSoINeedToMakeThemLookABitBetterBeforeMyAppointment

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Imitating How B Puts Her Arms Up When I Pick Her Up (2nd March 2021)

  #IHaveCalledTheShootFolderPutYourArmsInTheAirLikeYouAreBAndYouDoNotCare #BeforeWhenIPickedHerUpSheWouldJustNotMoveHerArmsAndSoItWasEasyToLiftAndCarryHer #NowAfterYouPickHerUpSheWillJustThrowHerArmsUpStraightIntoTheAirAndAsSheIsGettingHeavierItCanBeQuiteAStruggle #HerSkinIsABitBetterButIThinkItWillTakeSomeTimeToGoAwayCompletely #IAmABitBoredOfApplyingCreamsAndThingsButObviouslyItIsForTheBest #AfterMyLastShootIWentToAnOnlineZoomMeetingForLocalMumsWhileBWasAsleep #ItWasJustSoSuperAwkwardAsIDidNotRealiseIWasOnMuteAtFirstAndThenIDidNotGetToTalkOrSoItFelt #ItMadeMeRememberWhyIHadNotBeenToOneForTwoMonthsOrSoAndIHadACryAfterwards #AfterBWasUpIBlewMyNoseAndThenSheWasCryingAsItHadScaredHer #IHaveBeenFeelingDownAgainAndPostingABlogEntryTheOtherDayMadeMeRealiseThatMyLastBadPatchWasNotThatLongAgo #INeedToStartLookingAfterMyselfBetterSoThatICanBeABetterMumForB #IWantToGetMentallyStrongAsWellAsPhysicallyStrong #InTheLastWeekIHaveStartedToTryToDoPushups #IThoughtMyArmsShouldBeGettingStrongerWithAllThisBabyCarryingButIRealisedHowWeakTheyAreStill #DoYouEverGetThatFeelingOfThereIsSoMuchThatYouWantToDoButYouDoNotKnowWhereToStartSoInsteadOfDoingSomethingYouDoNothing #IFeltABitLikeThatTheOtherDayAndISpentALotOfMyFreeTimeAtTheWeekendJustWatchingTaskmaster #IThinkIAmJustABitScaredOfFailureSlashWastingMyTimeSoIWouldRatherRelax #WeHadOurSecondDateNightTheOtherNightWhichWasUsJustWatchingTheFilmStanAndOllie #SoOurDateNightIsBasicallyUsJustWatchingTVTogether #OnceBGoesToSleepIAmUsuallyOffDoingWorkOrProcrastinatingOrTryingToRead #IAmABitFrustratedByAllThePeopleActingLikeLockdownIsOver #SuddenlyThereAreLargeGroupsSatInTheParkHavingPicnicsAndDrinking #IGetItIKnowThatPeopleAreFedUpAndWhatever #IAmJustBitterAsIWouldNotEnjoyMyselfIfIDidTheSame #AndIAmWorriedThatByTheTimeBabyClassesAreDueToReopenTheyWillNotBeAllowedToAsInfectionRatesMightGetWorseAgain #BSeemsToBeTeethingALotAgain #SheHasBeenTeasingUsWithThisOnOffTeethingBusinessForAWhileButMaybeAToothWillSoonAppear #EveryDayILoveHerABitMore #INeedToStopFeelingSoGuiltyAndJustBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithHer #IAlsoNeedToTalkToHerMoreButIFindItDifficultAsTheDaysAreSoLongAndRepetitiveAndIGetTired

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