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OH ME, OH MÃE

I Probably Should Have Just Rested Instead Of Writing And Taking Such A Terrible Phone Photo (8th November 2020)

  #IDoNotWantADayAwayFromB #IJustWantADayWithoutResponsibilities #ItIsFunnyHowBeforeIHadSoMuchFreeTime #AndTookItAllForGranted #YeahItIsNotFunnyAtAll #IDoNotReallyKnowWhatIWantRightNow #IGuessMoreTimeToJustFeelLikeMyself #ThoughISupposeThisIsTheNewMeNow #IFeelStressedAboutBsFeedingSituation #DidISwitchToFormulaTooSoonAndCauseMyMilkToDryUpABit #WasItEvenDryingUp #IWishSheCouldCommunicateAboutHerTeething #AndIfTheDrySkinSheHasHurts #IJustFeelLikeICouldBeAMuchBetterParent #IWonderIfBHadBeenBornDuringANonPandemicTimeIfThingsWouldBeDifferent #ILikeToThinkItWouldHaveBeenBetterButMaybeItWouldNot #SeeingMorePeopleAndBeingAbleToGoToClassesWouldHaveBeenGreatIAmSure #TAndBJustCameToSeeMeLyingInBed #BsSmileMakesItAllWorthIt #INeedToGetUpAndStopWritingAndStopMoping #IJustNeedToContinueTakingEachDayAtATime #BabiesAreNotBornWithAHandbookSoWeHaveToKeepJustTryingToDoOurBest #AndOneDayAllOfThisWillProbablyJustSeemLikeADistantMemory

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Dancing To Madonna And Kylie (10th November 2020)

  #ErghIFeelQuiteSickNow #ThisWasGoingToBeJustCalledDancingToMadonnaAsIWasDancingToDressYouUp #ButInYourEyesByKylieSnuckIntoMyHead #YeahIWasNotActuallyPlayingTheMusic #BIsAsleepNowAndIDoNotWantToRiskWakingHerUp #IThoughtAboutUsingTiagosHeadphonesButIThoughtIShouldBeAbleToHearBIfSheWakesUp #IAmTryingToBeMorePositiveAboutThingsEvenIfIDidWakeUpThisMorningFeelingAwful #AndIDidHaveACryThisAfternoon #IWokeBUpFromANapTodayByPlayingMadonnaAndDancingAndSingingAlongToIt #IThenWentToGetHerWhenSheWokeUpFromANapAndIDidTheSameThing #IWasPlayingCelebrationOnThoseOccasions #ButIHaveBeenDoingALotOfNappyChangesAndFlannelWashesToDressYouUpRecently #ThoughMaybeThatSongIsNotAppropriateToSingToABaby #IHaveEnjoyedPlayingPapaDontPreachToHerAsILikeTheLineAboutHerNotBeingABaby #AndThenISayButYouAre #HaHaHa #YouHaveGotToGetYourKicksAndLaughsSomehowDuringTheseWeirdTimes #IStillFeelSick #ITriedToGetBAnAppointmentForTheDoctorsAsIThinkSheMightHaveSomethingWrongWithHerEyes #TheyHadNoAppointmentsForTodayAndAnotherPlaceDidNotAnswerSoIWillSeeHowSheIsTomorrow #HerBottomEyelashesSeemToBeGrowingUpwards #ButApparentlyThisIsNormalAndWillBeCorrectedAsSheGetsMoreFatInHerLowerEyelid #IWasWorriedAboutHerEyesBeingABitGunkyAndHerRubbingThemALot #TodayIJustFeltBadBecauseOfHerEyesAndTeethingAndBlockedNose #ItIsAllFunAndGames #ThisWasSupposedToBeAMorePositiveDiaryEntryOrWhateverThisIs #WellAPositiveThingIsThatIDidThisShootInMyLittleStudioSlashOfficeRoom #ItStillNeedsALotMoreOrganisingAndRearrangingButHopefullyICanStartToWorkOnOtherThingsSoon #ThingsThatDoNotRequireMeToWriteLotsAndLots #AndLetMeEscapeFromTheMonotonousNatureOfDayToDayLife

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Feeling A Bit More Like My Old Self (16th November 2020)

  #PerhapsThisImageLooksMoreLikeIHaveBeenCalledInForQuestioningAtAFloweryPoliceStation #ThanMeSatWaitingForStudentsToJoinAnOnlineTutorialSession #TypicallyIActuallyWashedMyHairForItLastNightButThenHadMyHairUpMostOfTheDayAsItWasAnnoyingMe #TodayWasTheLongestIHadSpentNotMotheringB #IDidAnOnlineTalkAndSomeTutorialsAndItFeltSoGoodToBeDoingSomethingElseForAChange #IDoEnjoyBeingWithBAndIAmGratefulToHaveHer #IFeelLikeIDoComplainTooMuchButItHasBeenAnIntenseFivePlusMonthsOfMothering #IKnowThatWeAreLuckyAndQuitePrivilegedAsAFamilySoIShouldWhineLess #IWasNotPlanningToUseThisPictureForTheProjectButIJustSawItOnMyPhoneAndThoughtWhyNot #IWasSupposedToDoAShootYesterday #IWasPlanningAFamilyShootButThoughTheDayGotOffToAProductiveStart #WeManagedToBreakTheGarageDoorAndSpentALotOfTimeFaffingWithThat #SoWeDidNotGoForAWalkAndIDidNotManageToOrganiseMyWorkSpaceOrDoMuchWork #InOtherNewsWeGotASecondHandFormulaPrepMachineTheOtherDayAndItIsLifeChanging #NoMoreSettingAlarmsToRememberToBoilWaterOrFranticallyTryingToCoolTheMilkDown #AndNowThatBIs5MonthsIAmTryingToDropOneOfHerNaps #IAlsoRealisedThatIHaveBeenWayTooStrictWithHerScheduleAndFrettingAboutHerWakeWindowsAndThings #SoTheOtherDayIChilledOutABitWithItToAllowHerToGoToBedAroundSevenFifteenIsh #ThoughTheLast2NightsSheHasGoneToBedEarlierDueToTryingToDropTheThirdNap #SheHasWokeUpOnceInTheNightAndSheWasAwakeLongerThanNeedBeAsITriedNotToFeedHer #OnceYouLiftHerOutOfTheCotToChangeHerNappyThoughYouHaveToFeedHerOrSheWillNotSleep #ButOnceSheIsFedSheIsQuiteContentAndGoesBackToSleepAlright #YesterdayIFeltBadAsSheWokeUpAt8InTheMorningAndIDidFretABitAboutHerSchedule #SoTodayISetAnAlarmFor7OnceSheWentBackToSleep #IFeelMorePositiveButLetUsSeeHowLongItLasts #INeededADayToDoSomethingDifferentAndFeelLikeMoreThanJustAMother #NotThatThereIsAnythingWrongWithJustBeingAMother #IJustWasNotPreparedForHowMuchMyLifeWouldChangeWithABaby #INeedToStretchAsIHaveNotInTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndIAcheFromAllTheBabyCarryingAndStuffMoving

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Fourth Family Portrait (21st November 2020)

  #HurrahWeFinallyManagedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitShoot #ThisPhotoCouldHaveBeenTakenInLiverpoolAsItIsJustUsAgainstAPlainWall #TiagoInstinctivelySatWithBOnTheExerciseBallSoIThoughtIWouldJustInsertMyselfIntoThePicture #IFoundTheBallWhileUnpackingAndThoughtIWouldInflateIt #IPumpedItUpInTheHallwayThoughAndItWasTooBigToGetThroughTheDoorway #SoIHadToLetSomeAirOutAndAmYetToFullyInflateItAgain #BHasQuiteEasilyTransitionedTo3NapsADayInsteadOf4ThisWeek #ThoughSheIsNotSleepingThroughTheNightAtTheMoment #WhichMayBeDueToTheTransitionOrTeethingOrFeedingOrAnythingAndEverythingIGuess #YesterdayIThoughtThatBWasImitatingGivingMeAKissOnTheCheek #ButIThinkSheWasActuallyJustTryingToTeethOnMe #WeHaveSomeBabyRiceToGiveHerWhichIPlannedToStartHerWithThisWeekend #TiagoWasWatchingATVShowAboutKidsAndFussyEatingTheOtherDay #WeWantHerToHavePositiveExperiencesAroundFoodSoIThinkWeWillStartWeaningWhenWeAreLessStressed #MovingIntoSomeoneElsesHouseHasBeenABitOfAShock #BWantedToDrinkFromMyWaterBottleTheOtherDaySoSheHasACupWithWaterInItNow #IThinkSheWasHopingThatItWouldBeFullOfMilkThoughSoSheSeemsDisappointed #WithBHavingOneLessNapADayMyTimeForMyselfHasBeenReduced #IShouldStartTakingHerForWalksDuringHerAwakeTimeAndJustTalkToHerAboutWhatWeSeeOutside #ThenICanUseHerNapTimesToDoChoresAndABitOfWork #ItSeemsToRainDuringMostOfHerWalksAtTheMomentButIStillGoOutAnyways #TheOtherDayIReallyNeededANapButISpentBsNapTimeLookingForPlayAndStayGroups #TheyAllSeemToBeClosedUntilNextYear #BOnlyHadAShortNapSoIFeltMoreTiredAndABitDeflated #IDoFeelABitMorePositiveInSomeWaysThough #IJustNeedToGetBackToDoingToDoListsAndTryToPlanMyDaysBetter #MySpaceToWorkInIsNotPerfectAsTheCeilingIsNotThatHighAndItSlopesInPlaces #ButItWillDoAndIJustNeedToMoveThingsAroundMore #HopefullyIWillSeeACoupleOfFriendsIndividuallyForWalksThisWeek #AndIAmYetToMakeDanceVideosHereSoHopefullyIWillTomorrow

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Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)

  #ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth #ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow #SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile #YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes #HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow #ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay #SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes #IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime #SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings #FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice #SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer #IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep #NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar #ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier #IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet #ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem #IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB #ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath #SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots #TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday #SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy #LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay #ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame #IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething #ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove #MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months #TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep #IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday #IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop #IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

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Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)

  #WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon #InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay #SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay #IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter #WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato #SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner #YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful #IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot #ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto #WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals #IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying #IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired #AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit #AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem #SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat #YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes #SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap #TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime #ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone #MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings #ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun #IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair #UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass #ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer #ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier #SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally #SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead #BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut #NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar #IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

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I Carried Her Coat Down The Stairs On My Head And Thought It Was Interesting Enough For A Photo (1st December 2020)

  #IAmInSuchABadMoodThisMorning #BSleptForAbout7HoursStraightLastNightButItIsNeverEnough #IHaveBeenPreparingSomeButternutSquashForHerToday #AndAttemptedToMakeAButternutSquashAndCarrotSoupForUs #YesterdayTheHealthVisitorCameAndSheSaidBIsProgressingWell #SheIsStayingWithinHerWeightPercentileWhichIsGood #ISaidThatIAmStrugglingABitMentally #InLiverpoolIToldMyGPWhoSaidToTellMyHealthVisitor #HereInBirminghamTheHealthVisitorSaysIShouldTellMyGPAndGaveMeANumberForAPostNatalServiceToTry #IFeltQuiteGoodYesterdaySoIThoughtIWouldCallThemWhenIFeltBad #IMightGiveThemACallLater #TheHealthVisitorIsComingAtTheEndOfThisMonthToCheckOnMeAgain #SheKeptSayingThatIFeltLonelyButIDoNotReallyIJustWantMoreVariationInBsPlaytimes #IHaveFinallyManagedToSignBUpForAClass #ThereAreSomeClassesBeforeXmasAndThenThereIsABigGapThenAnotherFew #IAmExcitedButAlsoVeryNervous #OurScheduleIsVeryFocusedAroundHomeSoIFeelABitStressedAboutHavingToPlanAroundAClass #ItWillBeGoodForUsThoughAndIHopeToFindOthersToGoTo #IWasHopingThatTheHealthVisitorWouldGiveMeAListOfPlacesThatICouldGoTo #TheChildrensCentreIsQuiteFarToWalkToButApparentlyTheyHaveOnlineClassesAtTheMoment #IHaveNotHadToPackABagForBForAges #AndIHaveNotFedHerInPublicForALongTime #IGuessIShouldTakeABottleOfFormulaJustInCase #TheOtherDayISaidSheHadNotBreastfedInAWhileAndThatIHadGivenUp #IInspiredMyselfToTryAgain #IDoNotThinkSheIsGettingMuchButSheIsGettingSomething #IWasQuiteSurprisedThatMyMilkHadNotCompletelyDriedUp #MyWorkshopWentWellThoughALotMorePeopleSignedUpThanAttended #IWorkedHardOnItSoInTheEveningITreatedMyselfToABathWithSomeBathSaltsThatIBought5MonthsAgoButHadNotUsedYet #ThereWasNotMuchHotWaterSoInTheEndIJustSoakedMyselfInAPrettyColdBath

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Imitating B Blowing Raspberries (4th December 2020)

  #SoBHasFinallyDiscoveredHowToBlowRaspberries #ILoveTryingToHaveAFairlySeriousPhoneConversationAndBIsJustDoingThem #OrSheIsSupposedToBeGoingToSleepButSheJustWantsToPracticeHerNewSkill #WeHaveAClassTodayWhichIAmQuiteExcitedButNervousAbout #SinceTheLastShootIHaveAlsoBookedHerOntoAnotherCourseAndATrialClass #IGotHerChangingBagOutToPrepareItAndTheNappiesInThereAreSize2 #SheIsNowIn4PlusThoughIRealisedYesterdayThatTheyAreWayToBigForHerNowThatWeKnowWhatSheWeighs #IFeelBadThatWeAreYetToTryReusablesButThingsHaveBeenStressful #NowThatTheSecondLockdownHasFinishedWeAreInTier3 #TypicallyLiverpoolIsNowTier2 #ButTheGoodNewsIsThatHouseholdsWithABabyUnder1AreAllowedToBubbleWithAnotherHouseholdRegardlessOfHowManyAdultsAreInThem #YesterdayWeWereSupposedToMeetUpWithAMumAndBabyForAWalkButItRainedAllDay #SoInsteadWeWentWithMyMumToTheSupermarket #IHadNotBeenInABigSupermarketSinceAtLeastMarchAndItWasBsFirstTime #SheSeemedABitOverwhelmedAtFirstAndMaybeTheTrolleyChairWasNotSuperComfortableSoMyMumHeldHerALot #IFoundItABitStressfulSoIWasGladMyMumWasThere #TiagoHasBeenDoingTheShoppingForSoLongThatIForgottenAboutHalfTheThingsThatExist #ItWasAlsoWeirdSeeingThatThereAre20TypesOfOneProductToChooseFrom #IAmStartingToGetIntoCookingABitMoreNow #BSeemsToBeEnjoyingFoodAndIWantHerToHaveHealthyMeals #SheReallyLikedSweetPotatoThoughIReadTodayThatItIsBestToLeaveThatUntilLaterAndStartWithLessSweetFoods #Whoops #IWasGoingToGiveHerAvocadoTodayButItWasNotAsRipeAsItFelt #SoIAmGoingToTryCourgetteInstead #TheOtherNightIDreamedThatWeWentToHerBabyClassAndThereWasABoxOfSnacksWithHerNameOnItOnATable #SheWasNotReadyForThemYetSoIAteThemAll #ButThenIWorriedThatTheyWereNotActuallyForHerAndIFeltReallyGuilty #IHaveNotCalledThePostNatalSupportLineYet #IFeelBetterDueToBookingHerInForMoreClassesAndTheSupportBubbleRulesChanging #ThoughTypicallyTheClassesWillNotBeRunningForAFewWeeksOverXmasSoWeShallSeeHowItGoes

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I Need To Just Focus On What I Have And Make The Best Of Things (8th December 2020)

  #WellYesterdayStartedFineAndNormal #BWokeUpEarlyButItWasManageable #TiagoFedHerWhileIStretchedThenWePlayed #PutHerDownForANapAfterTwoHoursAndIThoughtIWouldSleepToo #SheSleptForAbout30MinutesAndIJustWokeUpFeelingBroken #IFedHerSomeCauliflowerForTheFirstTimeWhichDidNotGoThatWell #AndThenICouldNotStopCrying #IWentToBedToCallTheNumberThatTheHealthVisitorHadGivenMe #TheCallWasSoFrustratingAsTheLineWasNotGreatAndWeHadToKeepCallingEachOtherBack #EventuallyTheyHadAllTheInformationWhichIProbablyCouldHaveJustFilledOutOnline #IAmWaitingToHearBackAboutAnInitialConsultation #TiagoBookedTheMorningOffWorkWhichMadeMeFeelBad #ITookPicturesOfMeCryingButIDoNoWantToSharePicturesLikeThatAnymore #ItFeelsLikeTooMuchAndLikeIAmAttentionSeeking #SharingThisFeelsLikeIAmTooButIDoHopeThatBySharingThingsThatItMightInspireSomeoneElseToAskForHelp #IDoNotWantTimeAwayFromBButIJustWorryThatIAmNotGivingHerEnough #WeWentToAClassYesterdayAndItIsGoodToPassSomeTime #ButItAlsoFeelsLikeGoingToHighSchoolAllOverAgain #MumsUsuallyAlreadyHaveTheirLittleGroupsAndIJustFeelAwkward #ISpokeToSomeoneAndSheSaidHeIsReallyCuteAboutB #IFeltAwkwardCorrectingHerAndIThinkSheThenFeltAwkwardThoughIReallyDoNotMind #SheIsUsuallyDressedInBlueSoIKindOfExpectPeopleToAutomaticallyCallHerABoy #IUsuallySayHowOldIsYourLittleOneOrSomethingLikeThatToAvoidPossibleAwkwardness #IThinkIAmNotTalkingToBEnough #AtAClassTheOtherWeekINoticedThatOtherPeopleWereTalkingALotMoreToTheirBabies #IThinkIMadeAGoodStartOnItThisMorningButItIsHardToHaveALotOfEnergyAllDayLong #IJustNeedToKeepGoingOutAndHopefullySoonPeopleWillStartToRecogniseUsAndChatMore #IGuessInAnIdealWorldWeWouldHaveMorePeopleToHangOutWithDuringTheWeekToHelpTheDaysGoByInAMoreFunWay #ItWillProbablyHappenButNowIsNotTheBestTimeOfTheYearAndALotOfTheClassesAreVeryStopStart #INeedToJustFocusOnWhatIHaveAndMakeTheBestOfThings

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Weaning Has Been Really Stressing Me Out (13th December 2020)

  #WellThisShootWasMeantToBeMoreAboutBsHairWhorlOnTheBackOfHerHead #ButIRealisedPrettyQuicklyThatItWouldBeDifficult #IWillTryAgainWhenSheGetsBetterAtSittingMoreIndependently #IEnjoyedDoingAShootWithHerThoughAndIHaveSaidBeforeThatIWouldDoItMore #IHaveBeenFeelingBetter #IHadAFewNightsOfJustFeelingCrummyAndNotWantingToDoAnyWork #IWasJustGettingIntoBedEarlyAndReadingMariaVonTrappsBiography #IProbablyJustNeededToRestABitButNowIFeelALotBetter #WeaningHasBeenReallyStressingMeOut #IDidNotRealiseHowEasyIHadItWithBreastfeedingAndFormulaFeeding #ButISeemToHaveSolvedThisProblemByThinkingAheadABitMoreMakingBiggerBatchesAndFreezingFood #IAlsoWasGettingStressedOutByHavingToMakeFoodInTheMorningSoIJustUsedABabyPorridgePouchForACoupleOfDays #YesterdayIMadeABatchOfCarrotPorridgeWithMyMum #IMightJustStartMakingMoreAndEatItMyselfForBreakfastToo #ItIsNiceSeeingMyMumMore #SheTookUsToTheSupermarketAgainThisWeek #ItShowsHowBoringMyLifeIsWhenITalkAboutGoingToTheSupermarketLikeItIsAHighlightOfMyWeek #WellMaybeItWasAHighlight #IBoughtSomeDifferentVegetablesForBToTry #IAmStartingToGetIntoCookingABitMoreThoughAsIWantBToEatHealthyFood #IDoNotReallyWantToGiveHerPouchesButTheyAreAGoodBackupToHaveForLazyDays #BIsNowEating3FoodMealsADaySoThatIsALotOfFoodToSortOut #IJustTriedToGetHerPouchesOfFoodThatWillBeMoreAnnoyingToDoAtHome #WeWentToABabyClassThisWeek #IFeelLikeIAmSoBadAtTalkingToPeopleInRealLife #IThinkIJustSayReallyAnnoyingThingsAndIGetSoExcitedAboutTalkingToSomeoneThatIJustKeepTalking #AndOftenIDoNotHaveTimeToAskAQuestionBackAsTheClassStartsOrSomething #INeedToJustCalmDownAndTalkLessAboutMyself #BGotGivenAPieceOfFoilInClassAndSheLovesItAsItIsSoNoisy #IThinkForChristmasSheWillBeGettingACardboardBoxWithASpaceBlanketInIt

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Portrait Of A Mother Of A 6 Month Old (16th December 2020)

  #IHaveBeenFeelingMuchBetterThisWeek #IDecidedToStartMyFinalCodingCourseYesterday #IHadBeenPuttingItOffButIHadPaidForItAlreadyAndIDoubtMuchWillHappenInTheNextMonth #IAmStressedAboutDoingItButAtTheSameTimeIFeelReallyGoodWhenIGetThingsRight #LastWeekIFeltTerribleAndIWouldJustFeedBInTheNightIfSheWokeUp #ThenSheWouldUsuallySleepUntil8Or8Thirty #ButThenIWouldFeelGuiltyForGettingUpSoLateAndSheWouldHaveToHaveShorterNapsInTheDayAndEndUpGoingToBedCloserTo8 #TheLast3MorningsWeHaveAimedToGetUpAround7 #ThoughYesterdaySheWasAwakeAt5ThirtyAndAt6IGaveUpAndFedHer #ButIGotALotDoneDuringHerNaps #WeWentToABabyClassAndSheFellAsleepOnTheWayBackSoWeEndedUpPuttingHerToBedAround6Thirty #SheWokeUpAt9ishAndWeFedHerThen #ButWhenSheWokeUpAt2ITriedForLongerToPutHerBackToSleepWithoutFeedingHerAsIKnewSheWasNotHungryAndWantedToSleep #SheIsEatingALotOfFoodDuringTheDaySoSheShouldNotNeedFeedingSoMuchAtNight #YesterdayIMadeButterbeanAndAvocadoForHer #ButIPutTooMuchLemonInItAndItDidNotGoWell #IShouldNotTryNewRecipesBeforeSheHasAClassAsIGotSuperStressedWorryingThatSheHadNotHadEnoughToEat #AndWeEndedUpMakingItToClassJustOnTimeWhenIHadPlannedToBeALittleEarly #MyMumHadBroughtSomeOutfitsRoundForHerAndIHadWantedToPutHerInOne #NopeSheWoreAOnesieLikeSheHasDoneForHerWholeExistence #IAmJustGoingToTryAddingSomeCarrotsToHerLeftoverFood #IfSheDoesNotLikeItThenIWillJustHaveToEatIt #IForgotToMentionInMyLastEntryThatThereIsAWaitingTimeOf3To6WeeksForTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorToldMeToRing #ItHappensALotWhereIFeelLikeINeedHelpForALongTime #WhenIEventuallyAskForHelpThereIsAlwaysALongWaitingList #ThenByTheTimeTheyGetRoundToGettingBackInTouchIFeelALotBetter #IHaveAlwaysBeenVeryUpAndDownThough #AndMyWorkPlaysABigPartInIt #GettingUpEarlierAndGivingMyselfMoreOfAChanceToGetThingsDoneDefinitelyMakesMeFeelBetter #ThoughThereWillBeDaysWhereIDoJustNeedToSleepThroughHerNapsAndThatIsFineToo

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Imitating B’s One Red Cheek (19th December 2020)

  #BHasBeenTeethingSinceBeforeWeMoved #SheStillDoesNotHaveAToothToShowForItAllButMaybeOneIsNearlyHere #SheUsuallyHasTwoRedCheeksWhenItIsAtItsWorst #ButTheOtherDaySheHadJustOneForTheFirstTime #IUsuallyGiveHerSomeTeethingPowderDuringTheDay #IWouldNotHaveThoughtItWouldWorkButAFriendRecommendedIt #AndThenAtNightIfItSeemsBadIWillGiveHerParacetamol #SheWokeUpALotLastNightSoIProbablyShouldHaveGivenHerSomeMore #IWishSheCouldCommunicateAndLetUsKnowIfSheIsInALotOfPain #IJustDoNotWantToGiveHerTooMuchParacetamolUnnecessarily #MyPlanToGetUpAt7ishHasNotBeenGoingSoWellTheLastCoupleOfDays #TypicallyWeAlwaysSeemToGetUpLateOnDaysWhereWeNeedToBeOutOfTheHouseInTheMorning #YesterdayIReadAnArticleAboutMotherhoodAndArtistsAt2amAndCouldNotSleepAgainUntil5am #MyBrainWouldNotStopThinkingAboutIt #IFeelLikeIShouldNotBeMakingSoMuchWorkAboutMotherhood #ButItIsAHugeNewPartOfMyLifeAndSoItSeemsLikeAnObviousThingToDo #EspeciallyWhenMyWorkIsALotAboutProcessingMyThoughtsAndFeelingsMostOfTheTime #IHaveBeenFeelingFineMentallyStill #ThoughOnDaysWhereItRainsAllDayIDoFeelALittleStuckIndoors #YesterdayWeManagedToWalkToAClassAndAvoidTheRainOnTheWayThere #EveryoneHadTheirBabiesInChristmasOutfits #IManagedToPutBInSomethingOtherThanAOnesieButSheLookedLikeSheWasDressedForEaster #AtLeastIHadRedAndGreenSocksOnButTheyWereWatermelonRelated #IAmNotTooFussedAboutChristmas #BWillNotRealiseWhatIsGoingOn #IHaveAlreadyGivenHerHerChristmasPresentAsIDidNotSeeThePointOfWaiting #SheLikesTheMonkeyPuppetThatTheTeacherInYesterdaysClassUses #WeWereWaitingForTiagoToPickUsUpAndIMentionedThatIWantedToGetBOne #TheTeacherSellsThemSoIGotHerOneAndGaveItHerInTheCar #OpeningAndClosingItsMouthIsAGoodHandStrengtheningWorkout

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First Haircut Since January (22nd December 2020)

  #IHaveNotBeenToTheHairdressersSinceJanuary2020 #MyNanAndIHadAppointmentsTogetherForLastMonthButTheyWereCancelledDueToEnglandsSecondLockdown #IWantToGetALotCutOffButNotTooMuchAsINeedToBeAbleToTieItUpOtherwiseBPullsOnIt #ButSheAlsoGigglesALotFromMyHairSwishingAboutSoMaybeIWillJustGetWhatNeedsToBeCutOffRemoved #IFeelABitAwkwardAboutGoingAsIHaveACystOnMyHeadThatIsALotBiggerSinceLastTimeIWent #IThinkItFeelsBiggerThanItLooksAtLeast #IWokeUpInTheNightThinkingBWasInDangerAndNearlySmackedTiagoAcrossTheFaceOnAccident #ICanNotRememberWhatIThoughtHadHappenedButIWokeUpVerySuddenlyAndPanickedLookingForHer #IAlsoTurnedHerNoiseMachineOffAtOneThinkingItWasTimeToGetUp #TheOtherNightIDreamtThatHerLowerHalfWasHangingOverTheBedAndSheWasAboutToFallOffAndIWokeUpVeryFast #ABigTopicAtHomeAtTheMomentIsIfBShouldBeRaisedVegetarianOrNot #IDoNotThinkItIsReallyADiscussionThoughAsTheConsensusSeemsToBeThatBShouldBeAtLeastFedFishForNow #ThisConversationHasComeUpAFewTimesInThePastButEveryTimeIJustGetAnnoyedByIt #IWouldRatherSheAteItLessOftenButAteGoodQualityMeatOrFishWhereWeKnowTheAnimalHadAFairlyDecentLife #IJustDoNotWantToFeedHerItAsIHaveBeenVeggieSinceIWas15 #IDoNotWantToTurnThisWholeEntryIntoAThingOnVegetarianism #IKnowThatItIsAHeatedTopicForALotOfPeopleAndIDoNotWantToHaveDiscussionsWithAnyoneElseAboutIt #IAmHavingFlashbacksToConversationsWithPeopleNowAskingWhyIAmVegetarianAndThenArguingWithMeAboutIt #TheCodingCourseIAmDoingIsGoingOkayThoughItRequiresALotOfBrainPower #IFeelABitLikeErghWhyAmIDoingThisButIAmNearlyAWeekAheadWithMyWorkAndThereAre4WeeksLeft #AfterIFinishINeedToUtiliseMyEveningsWellAsIRealiseHowMuchTimeIDoHave #INeedToStartStudyingPortugueseAgainReally #IWatchKidsSongsInPortugueseWithBEspeciallyWhenIAmTryingToFileHerNails #AndIFeelLikeIAmAtLeastLearningSomeNewWords #ButIReallyNeedToWorkOnBeingAbleToHaveNormalConversationsWithPeopleAndNotJustBeAbleToSingAboutAnimals #WellIGotMyHaircutAndItWasOddToLeaveTheHouseWithoutB #ItWasNiceToCatchupWithMyHairdresserThoughAsIHaveBeenGoingToTheSamePlaceSinceIWasATeenager #IJustToldHerToDoWhatSheWantedToMyHairWhichIsWhatIUsuallySay #BKeptLookingAtMyHairWhenIGotHomeAndWhenIPutHerDownToSleepSheWasTryingToPlayWithIt #MyHairHasNotLookedThisNeatAndTidyForALongTimeAndIGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilUntilItLooksLikeThisAgain

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Tiago’s Second Home Haircut (26th December 2020)

  #IAmWritingThisAt6ThirtyInTheMorningAsBHasAlreadyBeenUpForAboutAnHour #SheHasBeenWakingUpACoupleOfTimesInTheNightButSleepingQuiteWellInGeneral #SoLastNightWeStayedUpLateWatchingPearlHarbourWhichIHadRecordedACoupleOfWeeksAgo #TheNightBeforeWeHadStayedUpNotAsLateWatchingADocumentaryAboutTheBeeGees #IThinkTonightItWillBeAnEarlyNightForUsThoughWeWillProbablyNapWhenSheHasHerFirstNap #TiagoHasFourDaysOffForXmasSoIHaveBeenHavingALittleMoreOfABreak #IFeelGuiltyAboutItThough #YesterdayIFeltLikeICouldHaveStayedInBedForAWeekAsISuddenlyFeltSoDown #TheCodingCourseSeemsALotHarderAndIAmHavingALotLessFeelingSmartMoments #YesIDidDoABitOfCodingAndGeneralWorkOnChristmasDay #ItIsStillAboutAnotherWeekUntilMyPhoneCallAssessmentWithTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorSuggested #IAmFindingItHardToSeeSocialMediaPostsAboutPeopleAndTheirBabies #IThinkItIsBecauseItAllLooksSoEasyForEveryoneElseThoughIKnowThatEveryoneOnlyUsuallyTriesToShowTheirBestSelvesOnSocialMedia #AfterGoingToTheHairdressersIRealisedThatTheCystOnMyHeadIsQuiteVisibleNow #WellItIsMoreTheBaldPatchThatSurroundsIt #IHaveProbablyHadItForAtLeastAYearAndAHalfButItHasGotBiggerAsIMessWithItWhenIGetStressed #AndPregnancyAndCovidAndThingsHaveBeenStressful #IAmTalkingAboutItNowToShameMyselfIntoStopMessingWithItButIKnowThatIWillProbablyNot #ICouldGetItRemovedButApparentlyTheyUsuallyGrowBack #IJustSearchEnginedCystOnHeadAndIFeelABitBetterAboutItAllAsThereAreSomeHugeOnesOutThere #AnywaysWeReallyNeedToMoveBOutOfTheBassinetOnHerCotAndIntoTheBottomBit #ItIsRidiculousHowMuchSheHasGrownIn6Months #IGuessWeAreStallingBecauseItWillBeALotMoreAnnoyingToGetHerOutOfItAndWeWillNotBeAbleToRockHerAsEasily #YesterdayWeMadeHerSomeNiceMealsButSheDidNotSeemThatIntoThem #WhichIsProbablyWhySheWokeUpSoEarlyTodayAsWhenSheEatsWellSheSeemsToSleepBetter #IThinkIHaveFinallyGivenUpWithBreastfeedingNowAsSheHasHadAFewDaysOfNotWantingToBreastfeedSoIGaveUpAFewDaysAgo #IThinkIFindItDifficultSeeingSoManyPostsAndReferencesAboutBreastfeedingAsIFeelABitGuiltyAboutItThoughItWasUltimatelyBsChoice #ButAlsoIFeelBadThatThingsIHavePostedInThePastMightHaveMadeOthersFeelBadAboutThemselvesForWhateverReason #TheShootWasMeantToBeAFamilyPortaitSessionButTiagoAskedMeToCutHisHairAgainSoIThoughtIShouldDocumentIt #IThoughtIHadDoneABetterJobThanLastTimeButNowIAmNotSoSureAndIMightNeedToNeatenItUpMoreLater

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OH ME, OH MÃE

I Have Started To Balance Things On My Head For B’s Amusement (30th December 2020)

  #ItIs9InTheMorningAndBIsHavingANap #WeMadeAnEffortToStartTheDayAt7TodayThoughYesterdayItWasMoreLike5 #IFeelLikeBJustHadAReallyFunHourAndIWishICouldBeThatHighEnergyAllDayWithHer #LotsOfSingingSongsAndLiftingHerIntoTheAirAndReadingBooksEtc #TheOtherDayIHadARagingHeadacheAndStillManagedToPretendToBeAHorseWhileSingingTheWilliamTellOverture #WeBounceHerUpAndDownWhileWeSingItButWeGetExtraGigglesIfOneOfUsIsAHorseToo #IAlsoLoveHowILookForwardToHavingMeTimeButThenISpendSomeOfItLookingAtPicturesAndVideosOfHer #SheHasBeenABitGrumpyTheLastFewDaysBecauseOfTeething #WeWentToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayForTheFirstTimeInMonths #WeAreAllowedToBeInASupportBubbleWithThemAsBIsUnder1 #BWasCryingAsSheDidNotRecogniseMyDadAndWasEvenBeingFunnyWithMyMumEvenThoughSheSeesHerAFewTimesAWeek #IHopeTheTeethingStopsForABitSoonAsIFeelBadForB #INeedToStopMakingHerNewFoodAndUseWhatWeHaveInTheFreezer #ISuddenlyRealisedYesterdayThatSoonSheWillBe7MonthsAndCanStartEatingOtherThings #AndWeHaveAFreezerFullOfHomemadeBabyFoodAndNoSpareTubsForNewStuff #IThinkIAmGivingHerTooMuchPorridgeInTheMorningAsSheDoesNotLikeToEatMuchForLunch #ButSheGenerallyAlwaysEatsHerPorridgeSoIUsuallyMakeABatchWhichIsEnoughFor3Days #YesterdayIMadeSomeCourgetteSpringOnionRiceWithCheese #SheDidNotSeemImpressedByItButIEnjoyedEatingSome #TodaySheMightEatItAllSoYouNeverKnowThoughIWillTryGivingItToHerForDinnerRatherThanLunch #InOtherNewsIHaveCompletedMyKegelsApp #WellItIsNotCompletedAsKegelsAreForLifeNotJustUntilYouReachTheHardestLevel #TheyAreSoTimeConsumingNowAndIProbablyDoNotDoThemThatWellButIGuessSomeIsBetterThanNone #INeedToGoOnATrampolineAndSeeHowEffectiveTheyReallyAre #IAlsoNeedToStopTalkingSoMuchRubbishToPeople #IJustGetVerbalDiarrhoeaAndAfterwardsICringeAtAllOfTheThingsThatIHaveSaid #IHaveSaidItBeforeButIThinkThisPandemicHasImpactedMySocialSkills #ObviouslyWorseThingsHaveHappenedToALotOfPeopleButItIsAWeirdSideEffect #ThoughReallyIThinkMySocialSkillsHaveAlwaysBeenBadAndIAmJustMoreAwareOfThingsAtTheMoment #ItHasSnowedTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndBSeemsALittleIntriguedByItButObviouslyICanNotFindOutWhatSheReallyThinksAboutItAll

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OH ME, OH MÃE

Fifth Family Portrait (2nd January 2021)

  #HappyNewYear #IFeelLikeEverythingIWasGoingToSayDoesNotMatterNowAsTiagosGrandmotherHasDied #WeHaveNotSeenHerIn18MonthsAndSheNeverGotToMeetB #HeSaysItIsAShameThatHeCanNotGoToTheFuneralBecauseOfTheVirus #InPortugalTheFuneralsAreUsuallyTheNextDaySoHeSaysHeWillJustGoToTheCemeteryWhenWeFinallyManageToGetToTheIslandAgain #WeFinallyAppliedForBsPassportTheOtherDay #WeDidNotBotherRushingDueToCovidButHopefullySoonWeMightBeAbleToVisitTiagosFamily #BIsJustSleepingOnTheFloorWithHerSnowsuitOpenAsSheFellAsleepOnAWalk #InMyLastEntryISaidThatIWasFeelingReallyGood #TheNextDayIJustFeltSuperTerrible #WeAreNowPlanningToMoveOutAsWeThinkItWillBeBetterForAllOfUsToHaveOurOwnSpace #EspeciallyAsWeThinkWeWillBeInBirminghamLongerThanWeInitiallyThoughtWeMight #IKnowWeAreLuckyAndINeedToBeMoreGrateful #SometimesItSeemsEasierToBeMoreNegativeAboutThings #SocialMediaSeemsToExistForShowingOffThoughIFindItAwkward #ThoughTheOtherDayIPostedMyTopNineToInstagramAndIRealiseThatItComesAcrossAsABitBraggy #IFeelLikeIShouldHavePutAFootnoteAboutAllTheTimesIFeltRubbish #ButThisProjectIsEnoughOfAWhinefest #IAmGratefulToBeAMotherAndItIsGood #ButSometimesIDoFeelOverwhelmedAndStressedByItAll #WorryingAboutIfIAmGoodEnoughToRaiseASmallHumanToBeAGreatBigHuman #StressingThatSheIsNotGettingEnoughToEat #FrettingThatIAmGivingHerTooLittleOrTooMuchParacetamol #ToBeFairIDoNotGiveItHerThatOftenSoItIsProbablyMoreTheTooLittleCategory #IThinkInPersonBabyClassesAreSuspendedForNowUntilTheGovernmentReviewsThem #IAmNotIntoOnlineBabyClassesAsSeeingAndTalkingToPeopleInRealLifeIsTheBestThingAboutThem #ObviouslyItIsGoodToKnowThatBIsGettingSomeGoodPlaytimeThatWillHelpWithDevelopment #IJustWantHerToTurnOutOkayAndWell #IHopeThatSheBecomesMoreLikeTiagoThanMe #ISpentABigChunkOfYesterdayAnnoyedThatIAmNoLongerAnEUCitizenThoughAtLeastTiagoAndBAre

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